Elijah’s Cru Newsletter #1 - “Where’s your ambition, Elijah?”
How God led me to join Cru as a full-time campus ministry staff.
Where’s your ambition, Elijah?
That is what my architecture tutor asked me during my first semester at National University of Singapore (NUS). I was supposed to produce polished exploded axonometric diagrams of Le Corbusier's Masion Cook. The drawings I had instead resembled broken boxes.
I could not answer her. I was expecting a rebuke on the poor quality of my work, not an existential questioning of my purpose.
The truth was that I had no idea where my ambition was. It was clearly not in architecture. While my batchmates could unceasingly remain in the studio past 5 in the morning working on their pieces, I clocked out at 11pm. At the age of 7 I said that my dream was to be a scientist. But by the end of Primary School I knew that Science was not for me. In Junior College, my physics score was consistently hovering between an S and U grade, the two lowest grades.
As I grew older I did find things I liked to do. I joined the concert band and played the clarinet in Secondary School. I picked up photography and videography. I eventually switched from architecture to media studies after the first year of University, which I enjoyed much more.
However, all of these were not my ambition. My clarinet is now sold. My camera collects dust for most of the year. I took up internships and jobs in the field of journalism. I dreaded each day of work. Do I even have an ambition for anything?
A Passion for Something Else
Truthfully, buried in my heart since I was 18 was a growing desire I did not dare bring to reality. I wanted to study and teach the Bible. I wanted to spend my life journeying with others, talking about life and about God. But sharing this ambition mostly resulted in unexpected resistance.
Maybe get a corporate job first. Think practically. How are you going to provide for your wife?
Feeling discouraged, I looked for other jobs in the marketplace. But with every call, email, and job interview, I felt like I could no longer ignore the desire that God placed inside me. So, in the middle of this year, I started to look for ministry-related opportunities, despite the uncertainties and varying perspectives of who I am and what ministry would be.
An internship opportunity opened up with Cru Singapore in August 2024, the only door that opened in my months of searching. The job was to be part of the campus ministry team, returning to NUS to reach and disciple students there.
I knew almost nothing about Cru then, except for its former name, Campus Crusade for Christ. Neither have I heard of it during my NUS days. But as I am writing this, nearly 5 months into the internship programme, I can see why God has led me here.
Here in Cru, I had opportunities to teach the Bible, to journey with students, and to share about God and life with the people around me. Day after day, I saw how I could live out the desire God placed in me.
As part of Cru’s internship programme, I also got the opportunity to reach out to international students in Korea with my fellow new staff / interns and trainers!
Earlier, I mentioned about axonometric drawings. Unlike the usual perspective drawings that mimics human vision, an axonometric drawing offers an undistorted representation of the subject. I believe that’s how God sees each one of us: undistorted from the views and perspectives of others.
A bible teacher once said that “a call is not something we should do, a call is something we must do”. I realised God has placed something in my heart I must do. I’m still navigating this call, but I’m learning to trust God’s perspective.
I have now decided to join Cru Singapore as a campus ministry staff, continuing the work of reaching and discipling students in NUS! I pray that with my time in Cru, I can help students understand the Bible the way Jesus understood it, and love others the way Jesus loved others.
Where’s my ambition? Perhaps, if I ever meet my architecture tutor again, I can finally say, “I found it”.
How you can support me!
Like many other mission organisations, Cru depends upon the consistent financial support of concerned individuals and churches to fund the ministries of our staff members. Hence, all staff workers are expected to raise their own prayer and financial partners.
I will need to raise about $4600 monthly to cover my salary ($3190 including CPF), ministry and training expenses, employer CPF contribution, insurance, and staff benefits.
If you feel led to support me financially, please let me know and click below to access the Cru donation portal (Name: Gan, John Elijah; Designation Number: 79335). Thank you!
Support-raising was a new concept to me too so I understand that it may be new or confusing to those hearing about this for the first time. So feel free to email (elijahgan@cru.org.sg) or text me (+65 92470981) any questions!
Thank you for reading this all the way through and I appreciate every bit of support on this journey :) My wife and I send our blessings!
